His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
