i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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