All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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