Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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