You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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