I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Randomize
