Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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