First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize