but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
