After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
why do cheetos always look like penises
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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