My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
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He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
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It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
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