Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
