Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Randomize
