Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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