There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
