I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
