apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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