I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
