Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
