At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
