Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
