His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
