The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
