just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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