Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
