i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
