so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
