so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
