We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
