im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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