i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
