textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
My life is pants optional.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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