Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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