don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This is classic penis vs brain.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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