No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Randomize
