my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
3pm strippers are depressing
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
