come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
