yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
