Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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