A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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