I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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