She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
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