Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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