Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
