Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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