It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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