so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
