You smell like a Billy Joel song
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
