does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I want her autograph on my taint
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You should frame my arrest warrant.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
