I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
