doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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