U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
