I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I love having hate sex.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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