sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
