so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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