Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
