after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
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its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize