so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
