I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
