So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
