i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
