He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Randomize