she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
