i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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